Just ask good questions!

Sounds so easy, right? Well, it’s often harder than you think. There’s an art to asking good questions. And in giving someone the ability to give a good answer.

Good questions move a conversation forward, but it often takes proper preparation and reflection to make sure you nail it. So don’t just wing it!
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• Open, open, open! Yes, we all know it’s important to avoid asking questions that lead to yes and no answers, but how do you ask really open questions? The kind that get people to really dig into their answers? It’s about getting people to tell a story or to unpack why something is important to them, why they care. Basically, short words and phrases like 'what', 'how', 'explain more about...', 'tell me about...' are your best friends here…
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• Wait out the awkward silences. Everyone responds differently and sometimes it takes longer to get to the answer that feels right. Avoid the temptation to fill quiet moments with follow up questions or just general chatter and noise, embrace silence and wait a few moments longer than feels comfortable before following up. This often provokes a much more interesting conversation.
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• Reflect and build on previous conversations you’ve had to decide on what you both want to talk about. Agendas might sound dull but they're actually super useful for keeping things on track, although feel free to let the conversation flow elsewhere if it’s leading you somewhere interesting. But double check that you both agree to go off-piste; it’s no fun if you don’t both want to be there.
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Be an active listener

On the flip side of asking good questions is being an active, engaged listener. There’s no point asking a great, thought-provoking question, if you’re not going to give the answer the attention it fully deserves.

• Make sure you give the answer - in fact the whole conversation - your full, undivided attention. This means more than just hearing what’s being said, it’s about really concentrating on it, and thinking about what it means to the other person. And it definitely means no checking Instagram halfway through your conversation. Just saying.
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• Try and employ all your senses in being an active listener (ok, so maybe smell and touch will be pretty hard on a video call but you get the point.) Non-verbal communication is as important as verbal communication, so make sure there’s plenty of eye contact, smiling, mirroring of gestures and expressions.
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• Reflect back what’s being said to underline the fact that you’ve really taken it in; this will also help move the conversation forward.
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• Be neutral and non-judgemental - don’t editorialise what’s being said or try and offer a solution to a problem.
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• It’s fine to ask for clarification if you don’t quite understand an answer, or think that there’s more that someone wants to say. Sometimes asking the same question a few times, in a few ways, will push thinking to a more interesting and useful place.

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